By Your Side
by ice shredder
Summary: All I wanted was to keep you safe. Not just for your mother's sake but for mine. I love you Eren. But you keep pushing me away and I don't know how much longer I can maintain the excuse that you're only family... Eremika one-shot. T for safety. Enjoy!


**Title: By Your Side**

 **Author: ice shredder**

 **Disclaimer: not mine just borrowing for fun**

 **Spoliers/Warnings: lightly general scattered for the anime and manga. EreMika one-shot. Eren and Mikasa alternating POVs, with a tiny sliver of Jean.**

 **Summary: All I wanted was to keep you safe. Not just for your mother's sake but for mine. I love you Eren. But you keep pushing me away and I don't know how much longer I can maintain the excuse that you're only family...**

 **Mikasa**

I wish the titans never existed. I know it's childish, but if it wasn't for those monsters, my parents would still be alive. I wouldn't have let myself get captured by those bad men.

If Eren hadn't come to my rescue, God knows what would've happened. We don't regret our actions.

But even so, watching him stab one of the kidnappers to death in a blood frenzy scared me. More than I've let on. He wouldn't forgive himself if he found that out.

Mr. Jaeger scolded him when we emerged from the woods at the foot of the mountain. I was mute. My dress was filthy and I couldn't stop shaking even with the fire he built. It was so cold...and the weather wasn't responsible. The full enormity of what I'd just been saved from started to sink in, causing a chill to settle over my spirit.

I knew I was one of the lucky ones. Other girls who ended up in that same situation weren't as fortunate. I wanted Dr. Jaeger to stop yelling. It was giving me a massive headache.

Eren was upset and sounded on the verge of tears. Pleading his case that if he'd waited for the MPs to arrive, it would've been too late.

He was right. I would've been well on my way to the Captial. Sold as a sex slave. My Asian blood would've fetched a high price, since I'm the last of my race.

But I was still cold.

Eren noticed my discomfort and the next thing I knew he was wrapping his dark red scarf around my head and neck. Inviting me into his home and his life.

I've been warm ever since.

 **Eren**

Those damn titans are gonna pay. I swore that day on the boat packed with frightened traumatized refugees fleeing from Shiganshina that I'd kill them all.

Just a few hours ago, I'd been fast asleep under my favorite tree out in the meadow near Wall Maria. Caught in the grips of a nightmare I couldn't make sense of. All I remember was flashes of blood, shadowed titan forms, gaping mouths, dead bodies and someone struggling to get free from a titan's grasp.

Mikasa's worried face was the first thing that greeted my sleep-crusted eyes. She peered down at me with those calm black eyes, the scarf I gave her when I saved her from those animals disguised as humans, wrapped snugly around her neck. God girl.

Don't look at me like I'm some helpless little kid. Seriously. Doesn't she realize how much that pisses me off?

Anyway it all seems like a dream.

Arguing with Mr. Hannes over the Garrison's slacking off.

Saving Armin from the town bullies again. The crack of lighting. The kicked-in gate. Helpless as the titans flooded through the streets on a feeding frenzy.

Running towards our house with Mikasa right behind me, only to find it flattened under giant pieces of rock lauched from the gate...

Getting pulled away trying to free Mom from the debris of our smashed house. Me screaming at Hannes to go back...to not _leave_ her there all alone...

Mikasa turned away, not wanting to see Mom's demise. But I couldn't tear my eyes off the gruesome sight.

I watched her get eaten. Right in front of me.

Why did I always argue with her? Why didn't I appreciate her more? Tell her how much I loved her?

No. I know why.

I wanted to join the Scouts. I longed for freedom. But since Mom was part of the herd, she forbade it. Just this once, I wished Mikasa kept her big mouth shut. I'm not her brother or her kid. I don't need her to hold my hand all the time.

But now, I can't afford to lose her or Armin.

I told them I was enlisting in the military. And surprise, surprise, Mikasa and Armin were right behind me. Something along the lines of 'where you go, I go' kind of thing.

Whatever.

As long as Mikasa keeps her smothering under control I can do this.

 **Mikasa**

We've done it.

Three years of pure hell and now we're graduating boot camp. One step closer to avenging Mrs. Jaeger and reclaiming Wall Maria for humanity.

I stood ramrod straight as the valedictorian of the 104th Trainee Squad. Eren placed fifth. I knew he'd do well. He definitely surprised and shut down a lot of detractors with all the hard work he put in and will contribute in the future.

Eren won't take the easy way out and join the Military Police. The whole reason he's here is to join the Scouts.

He had his mind set to do it anyway. No amount of begging or threatening from me or his mother would've changed his mind.

But seriously. This braggart Kirstein sitting across from us really needs to get off Eren's case.

Who does he think he is?

What's he trying to prove?

He said it himself many times during training and missions his goal is to take it easy in the Interior and become an MP. Eren was right when he said Wall Rose used to be a part of the Interior 5 years ago. Now it's become part of the outer territory.

I'm scared. The Colossal and Armored Titans could breach the wall again and we can't afford to lose any more land to those monsters.

I was secretly glad when Eren sat Jean down with a leg sweep he'd learned over the afternoon training session. Good. That mouth of his is gonna get him into serious trouble someday. It's already landed him on Eren's bad side.

Never a good place to be.

Then he decided to introduce himself out of the blue. Said something about never seeing anyone like me before...how pretty my hair was...

Seriously, the _nerve_ of this man tryng to act smooth. After what he did to Eren, forget it. I hurried out of the mess hall to catch up to Eren outside.

No one else matters.

 **Eren**

I can't die. Not like this. I WILL NOT END UP TITAN FOOD!

I swore to kill them all.

And Mikasa...I can't imagine what my death would do to her.

I...need to _live!_

 **Mikasa**

Eren's dead.

He sacrificed himself to save Armin's life.

I knew this was gonna happen. I told him to find me if things got ugly. But he insisted I follow orders.

Even as the life drained out of my eyes, I walked to the edge of the roof. Raised my sword over my head and told those cowards I was better than them. That if I wanted to live I had to fight.

Then I took off. Barely feeling the rush of wind over my body as I tore through the streets of Trost, killing every titan I came across. I had to keep moving. Do something. Since I wasn't like most girls who break down and cry over their problems, I channeled my grief through action.

Live to fight. Ridiculous. There's no point living in a world without Eren in it.

I didn't care about the fact I was using too much gas. When I ran out and crashed onto that roof, despair took hold. There was no one here to see my final moments. No one around to see just how desperately I needed Eren in my life.

So when I heard the dull, heavy tread of a titan I was ready to die.

But then my body moved without permission before it could snatch me up.

Why?

I've got nothing left. So why do I keep going?

 _In order to live, you must fight!_

Yes.

Fight.

That's what Eren would've wanted.

I set my feet, gripping the hilt of my broken blade, just like I'd done that hunting knife when I was 9 and learned the hard way just how cruel, yet beautiful the world can be.

I didn't get a chance to strike.

A titan foot slammed into the stones, narrowly missing me by inches.

Next thing I knew, an insanely ripped titan punched his fist through the marauder's face, staining the bricks of the adjacent building with its lifeblood.

What? That titan...is killing another titan!

What's happening?!

 **Eren**

Feels...good...

Kill all the titans...every single one...

I stared at the headless corpse of another titan. Dark rage boiled through my body.

Get up.

Not enough...it's just...not enough for me...never enough...

I wanna kill ya again.

And again.

And again.

More. Gimme more.

I wanna kill more!

Hold on. Is that...Mikasa?! Oi.

Get away from her, you bastard.

I lunged forward- _don't step on Mikasa you idiot!-_ and punched straight through its ugly face.

 _DIE!_

 **Mikasa**

I'm scared. Eren's titan ability has stirred up a strong current of fear. I'm scared one day he'll do something so horrible the police will execute him on the spot. Each day he's growing stronger, pushing himself to harness his insane powers for the good of humanity and avenging his mother's death...but I'm afraid.

What if he loses control? Forgets who we are in the heat of battle?

It's already happened once in Trost. And it doesn't help that Jean's made it his personal mission to scold Eren every chance he gets. I respect his honesty, but sometimes he can get a tad excessive.

The more we investigate the Interior and the truth about the Walls and who's REALLY holding us captive, the more dangerous things are getting. Finding out Reiner, Bertoldt, and Ymir are titan shifters like Annie isn't helping anything. Then Eren vowed to murder Reiner and Bertl in the most brutal way possible. I didn't protest. Hell, I've got no right to. It was my bond with them that dulled my edge.

No more.

It's surreal. Not too long ago, Eren was hesitant to believe Annie was the Female Titan. Now he talks about killing two of his former best friends in cold blood like someone squishing a bug under their heel.

Like I said I'm not gonna stop him.

Eren. Please be careful. I know you hate it when I say that but I'm dead serious. All I wanted was to keep you safe. Not just for your mother's sake, but for mine.

I love you Eren. I've felt the way Jean looks at me. There's a deep longing in his heart that yearns to be fulfilled. It's become painfully obvious. The verbal fights he keeps picking with you are escalating and its all because he's trying to protect me...no. That's part of it but not the full picture.

He's trying to impress me. Get my attention. I thought he'd grow out of that stupid schoolboy crush he's harbored on me for years but that doesn't seem to be the case. I know he wants _me_ to fill that hole, but I can't do it. He can throw himself in front of titans to save me until the end of time, but it isn't going to change the way I feel about you. I was yours the day you saved me from those kidnappers.

But you keep pushing me away and I don't know how much longer I can maintain the excuse that you're only family...

 **Eren**

So. Mikasa loves me.

How? How can she possibly love someone like me? A monster. Hell, _horse-face_ might be the better man for her. Dammit! The mere thought of that makes my blood boil.

But ever since I found out about Reiner and Bertoldt...who are going to die the worst deaths I can think of by the way...she's sticking closer to me. I don't mind. At least she's safe.

And I meant what I said. About wrapping that scarf around her as many times as she needs. I ain't leaving her behind.

All the titans-and human traitors-are gonna die...but I won't be doing it alone. I'll have Captain Levi and the rest of my friends by my side to the bitter end.

We're planning to go back to Shiganshina soon. Pray that whatever Dad kept in the basement will finally put an end to this bloody nightmare.

Oh and horse-face?

Mikasa loves **me.** Know when you've lost. Step aside and take it like a man.

Anyway, we gotta focus on sealing Wall Maria and my hardening ability's gonna do the trick.

I'm not stupid. Once we clear Wall Rose we're on our own. It's likely all of us might go to our deaths out there.

But I'd rather die fighting for freedom than die a coward behind the walls.

I can do this. I have to.

For mom. For Armin's dream. For Mikasa. For Captain Levi to get some peace. For all our dead friends who gave their lives for the cause. I refuse to let their deaths be in vain.

This is it. Our last chance to stop the titans. If we fail, there'll be no one left strong enough to fight and humanity will be wiped out.

Wish us luck.

 **-end**

 **Reviews are fuel! I hope you guys enjoyed. :)**


End file.
